Those voices in my head were nattering again, and I consciously chose to listen to the quiet one that had something good to say.
Art is therapeutic and colour heals - bringing home an original painting by Belinda will light up your living space with a daily explosion of life & happiness. Belinda Fireman's colourful, inspiring art is guaranteed to lift the spirits, generate positive reflection and make you smile.
People who have bought Belinda's paintings say they can't stop looking at them, that they derive joy from them each day. Her paintings make wonderful, enduring and meaningful gifts.
I often look to others for protection. As a perfectionist, I can be extremely hard on myself, often lacking in compassion and gentleness in my thoughts. Sometimes I need to be protected from myself and I need help doing it, but because I’m a perfectionist, I expect me to do it alone.
It’s actually ok to feel like shit.
It’s actually ok to feel happy.
It’s actually ok to not know how the fuck I am feeling.
It’s actually ok to not share any of it.
It’s actually ok to share all of it.
It’s actually ok to not know what’s right, or what’s wrong, because these things do not really exist.
It’s actually ok to cry my eyes out in public.
It’s actually ok to enjoy my life without feeling guilty that others do not.
It’s actually ok to just feel ok, or to not feel anything at all.
Everything is actually ok.
Every day, I hear a voice in my head berating me for not getting things done, for wasting time, and for procrastinating too much. This is the signal for me to be gentle with myself, which doesn’t always happen.
I would like to remember that expecting myself to switch from not needing to work, to wanting to support myself as a full-time artist (while also maintaining a household and caring for three children) possibly requires a bit of a transition period.
Learning new habits, developing confidence, implementing scheduling and focusing on what needs to be done, aren’t skills I can realistically expect to be in place immediately. I still do, though, because I’m a perfectionist, dammit!
I am learning more about what I need to make my full-time work suit me: flexible hours (check!), fun (check!), accountability (I’m thinking about, and working on, this), allowing myself breaks (other than Facebook!), variety – alternating computer and physical/creative tasks (check!), and commitment (check!)
Setting the intention that I will commit to working for a set period of time each day will help keep me from distraction, I hope. The addition of self-recognition for a job well done to this set of needs is important. I’ve always been a seeker of praise, and giving myself some (because who else is going to do it?) will help motivate me to continue working effectively; the only way I’ll get the praise it to do the work.
I may not do these things all the time (OK, I know I don’t, and I know I preface this way because I’m a perfectionist and wish I could do these things all the time, but feel bad that I don’t), but these are my mom skills that are working, most of the time: