My brain constantly wants to pick at the scab of rejection, the fear of loss, and the uncertainty that is life.
Pick, pick, pick.
So I make decisions to cover up this obsessing: I eat too much sugar, watch porn, check texts and Facebook, anything but face the emotions behind the obsessing.
The obsessing, the constant searching to prove that I’m right – that yes, I am unloveable – it’s going to happen, and it only gets stronger when I try to cover it up, ignore it, or reject it. In essence, I am rejecting a part of myself.
I choose to accept this part of myself: that every now and then, I will obsess, I will worry, I will be frightened. The difference now is that I am also choosing to not just acknowledge the feelings, but to also feel them.
Accept and allow the obsessing, then accept and allow the feelings.