I need to make some changes in my life, and find myself challenged by my limiting beliefs. I have an expectation that I should be happier, which leads me back to the belief that I am not doing enough. Eventually I would like to be able to just accept what is here for me now (and if I am unable to do so, to stop thinking I’m not enough because of those limitations- what a fucking mind circus!)
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I often look for ways to prove that I am right about being unloveable, unsupported, or unworthy. In doing so, I feel unloveable, unsupported and unworthy (go figure!), and I don’t enjoy feeling this way. Proving I am right was a strategy that used to serve me, in some way, and I am noticing my desire to experiment with the opposite.
I need to start with the belief that I am loved. Maybe I don’t totally, fully, utterly believe it yet, but I also never fully believed the other story either. Then I can begin to look for ways to prove that my new story is right.
The way my children want to hug me and tell me they love me, even after I’ve told them something that angered and upset them.
The way you look at me, and tell me how you feel, hold me close, support me through my shit, and are willing to try new things with me, even when they are scary.
The “I love you”s, the hugs, the talks, the notes, the touch, the gifts, the time spent.
I feel loved.