This is what I think: learning my lesson means I will no longer have to face it again.
This is NOT TRUE.
No matter how many times I realize this, I keep forgetting, and then realizing it again.
Today I misunderstood a text, which instantly triggered thoughts of being “too much”. I’ve been down this path many, many times, and today I watched it happen, and it was like watching myself fall in slo-motion. It was almost like I could detect the nerve impulse as it triggered an ancient memory, which in turn, triggered a reaction in my body. The more I am able to witness this, the more (I think) I will have the ability to make conscious decisions on how I act/react, and eventually, possibly, how I feel. Whether or not this is the case, I like the idea of being in control of my emotions, rather than the other way around. Maybe someday this will happen. In the meantime, I’ll keep feeling my feelings as they come up, because if there’s one lesson I’ve learned (well, mostly), it’s that the triggers and lessons just keep on coming.